What do I do I know not!

Do I not cry when tears sting my eyes and find their way down my cheeks eroding all trace of small joys hidden in the pores of my being? Do I not sigh with pain piercing deep in my heart? Do I not crease my forehead into deep furrows of anguish when people hurt the inner core of my existence?
My existence is a shadow, a dark shadow and all I perceive around me is darkness, blinding darkness of sorrows buried so deep that no imaginations of joy can uproot that.
There are times when my selfish self awakens from its deep slumber and propels me to carry out task my conscience would never approve of. But why do people forget that I am just a human being and I’ve the basic human urge….of acceptance and greed for happiness.
I’ve gone a-begging for happiness at the doorstep of God; he gave me a small purse and told me not to open it till I met someone who would shed same tears as mine.
Well God, I am still searching for that ocean of tears to send my tears of anguish so that I can eventually get what you always planned to give me. Till then, I guess I have to continue shedding the tears I am supposed to shed.

I've pondered on this issue for a long time now and it still makes me giddy for I've still not been able to comprehend why people do that.And why is it that women are always made to carry the burden of this guilt even if the main person behind all these is man.Take for example, a woman finds her husband in another lady's house at odd hours and a huge mess follows after that,the whole town starts talking about it. But nowhere in those talks do we find people pointing their fingers at the male counterpart, its always the wife and the other woman who are throughly talked about."Do you know that other woman is stealing that wife's hubby?" goes people in their hushed up tones a sif the whole secret is some kind of valuable truth not to be leaked out for the safety of the nation.the hushed up tones sends an uproar through out and still make the listeners believe that it is the latest news available.
Back in the household where the husband was caught in the wrong place by his wife, the husband is sulking with guilt. and the wife is crying her world out, wishing death to engulf her.At the same time, she is left wondering,"where did i go wrong? Didm't I give him enough of me to make him stay by my side?" and thousand other lines pinning her more each time of her life.On the other side, breathing heavily with shame and guilt, yet finding no solace in any reason the supposed mistress hands over herself to the mesh of wretchedness.
At the end,what we find is two women each questioning her intregity while the man responsible for causing such pain sulks for sometime but his heart wanders to the next prey immediately after the duo makes peace with him.

SMILE

Its amazing how a simple thing like smile can work wonders in this delusionary world. I set off from home with a heavy heart and the wild sorrows riding on my already weakened heart. Trudging slowly to my workplace, i met a strange looking lady. I've never tried to judge people by their looks but today was different. I guess it was my heavy heart playing tricks on me for i found myself staring deep into the contorted face of that lady. If you measured people by the symmetry of their features, this was the most assymmmetrical face i had ever come across. Maybe I had stared too long at those pair of eyes for i saw that thin reed lide lips part and grow wide at the corners. Being caught off- balance i had no other choice but to smile back at her and I smiled my most beautiful smile to hide the fake ego hiding in it. And i found the lady smiling a different smile for the second time. I smiled yet again and that made the cut wider on her face. I liked the way we stood there smiling at eachother. No words were exchanged but we went on smiling for what seemed like an eternity of smiles. After reaching my workplace, seeing that lingering smile on my face, my grumpy collegues smiled at me and i smiled another smile back at them. And hence continued the saga of beautiful smile. It was smile, smile, smile everywhere.
And it did make the environment in the workplace lot brighter.