Another night with my uninvited guest.

Boom! or was it a Swish? Whatever the background music,he had arrived. As always. My uninvited guest. "whatcha doing?" he smirked at me.

"Are you blind?" I barked back,not hiding my displeasure at seeing him in my room.That too at such odd hour. I jumped off the couch and turned the lights off. He needed to know that he was not wanted in my room and it was just not the right time for him to get close to me.

"Are you crying again?" It sounded more like a mockery than concern,so I remained mute(if you would consider the muffled sobs silent!).

"You are just plainly miserable!"he added and that felt like a sharp tip of a knife opening the can of stifled emotions. I wailed. It didn't feel wrong to cry with this stranger who had barged in my room at the dead of the night.

"Get a life Girl!"

That is easier said than done!More so impossible now that he had decided to stick around.The more I felt his cold hand touch me, I felt like a recluse.Was I becoming one?

"What's eating you now?" He raised his voice as if I had become deaf.

"Buzz off!" I screamed and pulled my sheets over my head.

"So, no friends,huh?..."he paused,it was a dramatic pause, a deliberate one."...and no family here!tsk!tsk!" I thrust his ribs with my elbows and would have kicked him hard if only I was standing and not bundled up in my bed.

He stretched his arms to take me in his embrace. I snuggled in effortlessly. "Alright!You win!" And I slipped more into the embrace of this uninvited guest who called himself LONELINESS!

Way back home.

The mound of sand flew
each dust carrying
her story of pain
of loneliness.

The dripping rain fell
each drop carrying
her story of tears
of solitude.

The bellowing wind blew
each puff blowing
her story of grief
of forlornness.

And then
there was bright sunshine
of happiness abound
as she walked back home!

Deception malady

For the past many days now I've been fighting myself to remain afloat in the sea of deception. I have tried immersing myself in the character of ALI and NINO but Kurbaan Said's powerful words failed to leave its mark in my otherwise 'hungry for more heart'.
Then I tried drowning in the pool of songs and music. But the songs I listened to reminded me of more deception than the one I was actually fighting hard to forget.

Trying to be funny in facebook; reading the heart warming felicitations to the Royal couple poured in every blogs I follow; nothing helped me to hide the emptiness carved in my heart.
How can some people manage to betray other's heart. Don't they know that in the chest of the other person too beats the same rhythmic heart as theirs? Don't they hear the rustle of the endless tossing and turning the whole night of the person who is trying to ward off the pain with their fluttering eyes staring at the dark ceiling?

I have always maintained the principle that other people's ugly heart shouldn't cloud one's heart. But of late I can't help feeling that 'if only my heart could change today!NOW!' I want to try and stand on the other side of the shore in life and watch with a smirk on my face how the other one winces in pain inflicted by me.

Way too gross of a feeling I know!Yech! No! I deny access to such crap thoughts in my system. But how do one fight this malady called deception? I'm sure many would have faced one in their lifetime.

Betrayal in love would serve as a drink of inspiration to a poet. May be he would write,"sweet betrayal, you come in a cup
so tempting; to not drink
would be a sin
even bigger than drinking!"

But how would a poet describe deception by a person you call a friend? Would he say,"Sweet Friend(the word sweet keeps the bitter thoughts calmed I guess????)
I trust all your lies
to scratch and dig sores in my heart;
believe all your filthy kicks
to guard me from peaceful sleep."

More I think of the people who crippled my faith and trust in the beautiful things in a relationship I find myself turning into an empty creature for each deception hollows out a part of my heart.

The new empty me can only pray that one day I will lose my heart and one that day I shall deceive the people who deceived me!