My Daughter, I am proud of you!

Four days ago, I was skyping with my li'l girls and since my daughter had finished her annual examinations I kept on pestering her about her performance. As soon as she saw me,she said,"Mama, guess what?" I felt maybe another list of her online games is on the way but just to humor her I asked,"what?"

"Our madam said, one student in our class got 100 in maths, I think that's me!" She said it with such conviction, I stared at her for a second and I burst out into giggles,so much for her confidence! We then got into our normal conversation and it was only after she logged out of skype I started to wonder about the spark in her eyes as she said,"I think that's me!" I remembered a line from the song "give me some sunshine" from THREE IDIOTS,"..rishwat dena toh khud papa ni sekhaya, 99% marks lao gi toh ghari nahin toh chari..." Was I expecting too much from my six years old kid?

It felt bad to realize that I too was pushing my li'l ones into the pool of my expectation as a parent. Try as hard as I could to reason out that every parent wants their children to excel in life, a gigantic guilt penetrated in my heart that maybe I am one of the parents who put their child into miseries from such pressure right from early years of their life.

But today, all that guilt turned into bundles of laughter of happiness. I was skyping with her when her grandpa walked in with a big smile. He never comes to talk in between when I am talking with my kids, but the way he smiled and approached the camera I knew he had good news. "Angie's guess was right, she has scored 100 in maths!" I suddenly felt someone had lifted me on the highest peak of happiness and pride. As he read out her marks in all the subjects, I felt tears trickle down my cheeks, tears of happiness.

All these months my li'l one has been promising me,"mama, I'm going to work hard to make you happy!" This post is for her, just to let her know that she has kept her promise and indeed I am proud of her achievement.I am proud of you my Angie!

Another night with my uninvited guest.

Boom! or was it a Swish? Whatever the background music,he had arrived. As always. My uninvited guest. "whatcha doing?" he smirked at me.

"Are you blind?" I barked back,not hiding my displeasure at seeing him in my room.That too at such odd hour. I jumped off the couch and turned the lights off. He needed to know that he was not wanted in my room and it was just not the right time for him to get close to me.

"Are you crying again?" It sounded more like a mockery than concern,so I remained mute(if you would consider the muffled sobs silent!).

"You are just plainly miserable!"he added and that felt like a sharp tip of a knife opening the can of stifled emotions. I wailed. It didn't feel wrong to cry with this stranger who had barged in my room at the dead of the night.

"Get a life Girl!"

That is easier said than done!More so impossible now that he had decided to stick around.The more I felt his cold hand touch me, I felt like a recluse.Was I becoming one?

"What's eating you now?" He raised his voice as if I had become deaf.

"Buzz off!" I screamed and pulled my sheets over my head.

"So, no friends,huh?..."he paused,it was a dramatic pause, a deliberate one."...and no family here!tsk!tsk!" I thrust his ribs with my elbows and would have kicked him hard if only I was standing and not bundled up in my bed.

He stretched his arms to take me in his embrace. I snuggled in effortlessly. "Alright!You win!" And I slipped more into the embrace of this uninvited guest who called himself LONELINESS!

Way back home.

The mound of sand flew
each dust carrying
her story of pain
of loneliness.

The dripping rain fell
each drop carrying
her story of tears
of solitude.

The bellowing wind blew
each puff blowing
her story of grief
of forlornness.

And then
there was bright sunshine
of happiness abound
as she walked back home!