Shrill screams, creaks of tables and chairs being pushed almost blasts my ears. “Is this what I wanted in life?” I question myself with my nose and eyes playing a race in who gets to shed most water out of each. The dusts from the floor boards send another round of sniffling snot down my nose. I quickly reach out for a tissue to wipe it before the screaming kids stop their monkey business to laugh at me.
It’s back to school time yet again. But this time with the change in the school, I start doubting my own interest in being a teacher. Walking in a classroom filled with mature students is a totally different experience from being in a class filled with li’l kids screaming all over; some with complaints and some just screaming for the sake of their age.
With His Majesty’s B’day celebration just round the corner, all of us are busy with preparations. My li’l group jumped with full alacrity when they heard that we have to perform a dance from our class. Seeing their interest I was relieved that my old limbs are going to be free. But their interest and ability ended with the choosing of song. “Ngesem, Ngesem, madam!” and before I could even provide another option I found them lining up for the dance. But when the music actually started, there were only coy giggles.
All eyes on me, they pleaded for steps. Ensuring that the classroom door was latched, I stood up and started the one-two-one-two according to the beat. After two hours we had the steps ready for the entire song. “Madam, kho gi lab shey mee tubay la!” I hear a li’l girl complaining. Never knew boys had apprehension in holding hands with girls. Well, maybe they get ready for that only with age (kidding!).
Agitated after repeated order to hold hands, I scold the li’l boy. Tears flood his cheeks and his snot follows suit. The mother in me stirs. I pull him in my arms and say sorry. His snot wets my tego but I don’t wipe it. I let him go only after his tears stop. The others look at me as I let him go. I see love in those tiny pairs of eyes looking at me.
After that he holds the girl readily (Magic hug has done the trick).
I repeat my previous apprehension about my career in my heart. Looking at the innocent faces dancing to my steps I shove that thought away instantly. No! This career choice shall never be wrong.
“Ngesem, ngesem,….” I dance with my twenty tiny tots.
write
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Walking back in time
“Can you believe, we are still friends, I mean after all these years…” Dechen pauses, as if trying to thread our eighteen years of friendship in one single neckpiece. “I told my office friends that I’m meeting the three of you today and they were surprised, I mean, people hardly remain in touch after High School.” She added with her bass voice. I giggled remembering how the boys in our class gave her the nickname, ‘soundbox’, back in the year 1994.
“What, you mean we shouldn’t be in touch after school days?” Rinchen spoke clearing her nose. I let off another giggle with another anecdote hitting my memory. Dechen ( not the same one mentioned above) always had a problem eating with Rinchen and her stuffy nose.
“But this whole length of time proves that we have always been true friends,” Dendup smiled and spoke at the same time. Dendup always have been all smiles. It was always her easy smiles that made her an easy secret box among all others. I giggled, yes! Another reminder from the good old days! Rinchen and I would always fight for our right over Dendup during our three years of stay in hostel.
“…And look who is doing the ‘mute’ role today!” all three of them snapped at me.
I giggled. Back in the High school days I was the most talkative and had that confidence of carrying myself high and among the achievers. But eighteen years, and how different life had molded us all!
We laughed. We shared stories from past. We filled in the present. But most of the time was spent in going back to past.
“If I am given an opportunity to go back in time, you know what?” Dechen laughed before she could even present her hilarious wish. “I would definitely want to go back in time but…” she eyed us with a naughty smile playing around her almost visible fine lines under her eyes, “…with a Hair straightener. I wouldn’t share it with anyone of you. I would enjoy my sleek straight hair while you guys go back with your copi hair.” She roared with laughter.
We shared another roar of laughter remembering our hairstyles back then. It was those 90’s punk bulk of hair cropped at the ears and amassed on the top. We loved our hair back then.
Rinchen wanted to go back to those days with the present day salary. “We can live the present lifestyles in those moments!” she reasoned out. Fair enough.
“I just want to take all three of you back to those ICSE days,” she smiled again, perhaps thinking of some of the naughty things we learnt for the first time during that time.
“Cooked! Let’s eat,” I emerged out of the kitchen.
All of them looked at me with their questioning glare. I knew they were waiting for me to add what I wanted to take back in time.
“Well, “I heaved heavily. “ I don’t want to go back to past, I want to take your time machine and go to the future and would love to seek revenge for all these years you guys made me cook for you all.”
“Teach us,” they grinned.
I laughed back at them. They know that they can never master my culinary talent no matter how successful they might be in life.
All four of us roared with laughter!
“What, you mean we shouldn’t be in touch after school days?” Rinchen spoke clearing her nose. I let off another giggle with another anecdote hitting my memory. Dechen ( not the same one mentioned above) always had a problem eating with Rinchen and her stuffy nose.
“But this whole length of time proves that we have always been true friends,” Dendup smiled and spoke at the same time. Dendup always have been all smiles. It was always her easy smiles that made her an easy secret box among all others. I giggled, yes! Another reminder from the good old days! Rinchen and I would always fight for our right over Dendup during our three years of stay in hostel.
“…And look who is doing the ‘mute’ role today!” all three of them snapped at me.
I giggled. Back in the High school days I was the most talkative and had that confidence of carrying myself high and among the achievers. But eighteen years, and how different life had molded us all!
We laughed. We shared stories from past. We filled in the present. But most of the time was spent in going back to past.
“If I am given an opportunity to go back in time, you know what?” Dechen laughed before she could even present her hilarious wish. “I would definitely want to go back in time but…” she eyed us with a naughty smile playing around her almost visible fine lines under her eyes, “…with a Hair straightener. I wouldn’t share it with anyone of you. I would enjoy my sleek straight hair while you guys go back with your copi hair.” She roared with laughter.
We shared another roar of laughter remembering our hairstyles back then. It was those 90’s punk bulk of hair cropped at the ears and amassed on the top. We loved our hair back then.
Rinchen wanted to go back to those days with the present day salary. “We can live the present lifestyles in those moments!” she reasoned out. Fair enough.
“I just want to take all three of you back to those ICSE days,” she smiled again, perhaps thinking of some of the naughty things we learnt for the first time during that time.
“Cooked! Let’s eat,” I emerged out of the kitchen.
All of them looked at me with their questioning glare. I knew they were waiting for me to add what I wanted to take back in time.
“Well, “I heaved heavily. “ I don’t want to go back to past, I want to take your time machine and go to the future and would love to seek revenge for all these years you guys made me cook for you all.”
“Teach us,” they grinned.
I laughed back at them. They know that they can never master my culinary talent no matter how successful they might be in life.
All four of us roared with laughter!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Nights and Nursery rhymes
It’s night time. The Doreamon lamp lends its faint light while we prepare for our ‘honing the singer in me’ session, I call it. My li’l one starts, “mama, what does the sun say?” I wonder why she doesn’t like the beginning part of this nursery rhyme. So I’ve to begin from “when the blazing sun is gone…” and then only come to ‘Twinkle Twinkle li’l star.”
As soon as I finish that, my li’l one looks at me with her eyes squinting in the dark. That’s my cue to begin the next one which is always “hush li’l baby, please go to sleep…” But before I can continue further, I am interrupted, “tatu ban na,” or if she is in the Shizu ka mood, she would say,”shizuka ban na.” So I have to repeat from the beginning to alter the address from ’baby’ to either ‘tatu’ or ‘shikuza’. So I go, “hush li’l tatu/ shizuka please go to bed…”
“Arko,” she nudges at my chest. Its “On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed,” I have to wait for my li’l one to actually sneeze, Achooo. Then she giggles in the dark. I complete that with the meatballs growing on the trees. Some children songs can be really silly, I tell you.
“Row, row row your boat…” Both of them wait for the new addition part at the end. “If you see an alligator, don’t forget to scream.” Both of them join me with a shrill “a..aa…aaa” and the three of us giggle like three teenagers. So much for an aged mother and two tiny girls trying to lull themselves to sleep.
“Doctor Foster went to Gloster in a shower of rain,” I sing. Before I can end that line, my elder daughter adds, ‘splash!splash! splash!’ There is another bout of giggling in the dark.
More rain songs motivate me and the next in line is, “It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring. Went to bed and bumped his head and couldn’t get up in the morning.” “Mama, why does he bump his head?” my lil one asks with concern in her voice. I drag her closer to my bosom and kiss her lips and continue,’ rain rain go away, come again some other day…”
“The ennsy weensy spider went up the water spout…” I know sleep is still a faraway dream so I walk my fingers shaped like a spider on their arms and make it slide with,”..down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the eensy weensy spider went up the spout again.” Again my fingers travel up their arms while they wriggle in glee.
“Oh when the saints go marching in…” My li’l one loves the second line better so I quickly finish off the first line and jump to, ”oh when the band begins to play….”
“arko,arko,arko,” she pouts like a spoilt brat. I pretend to be fast asleep ‘cause all these singing makes me drowsy. “owww mama,” both of them nags at the same time, pulling my arms from each side and tickling me. Well, what option do you have when you are outnumbered?
“Jack and Jill went up the hill… and don’t you dare ask me why jack fell down,” I warn my li’l one before she can open her mouth to ask me the same. Mothers need to have patience like the most elastic rubber, for the kids can stretch you off limits at times.
“Sing that song about the bird taking the nose,” it’s more of an order than a request. I start grudgingly, “sing a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye…” I almost look at them with angry glare for making me a singer for so long into the night. Sometimes I wonder, “What would somebody listening outside our window think of all these crazy singings?” Not that anybody would be there outside the window, listening, but suppose there is somebody listening?
“Wee willie winke, runs through the town,” is next. The song should end with,” …are the children all in bed its past 11 O’ clock, instead of 8 O’ clock.” I look at the wall clock ticking with a vengeance against the wrong timing I’m singing about.
Knowing they simply adore my singing (that’s a lie!) I clutch one tightly in my arms and pull the other with my other hand and sing the last song,” Hush a bye baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows…” I add if you don’t sleep you are gonna fall off the bed just like this baby. That silences them. I repeat the refrain,”…and down will come baby, cradle and all.” Softly, softly , repeating it in whispers until Their eyes close. I see them closing their eyes like a magic with this refrain. I am left with my eyes wide open watching the two princesses already lost in the dream world while I lay awake feeling a faint flicker of admiration at my own mirror images lying on the either sides.
As soon as I finish that, my li’l one looks at me with her eyes squinting in the dark. That’s my cue to begin the next one which is always “hush li’l baby, please go to sleep…” But before I can continue further, I am interrupted, “tatu ban na,” or if she is in the Shizu ka mood, she would say,”shizuka ban na.” So I have to repeat from the beginning to alter the address from ’baby’ to either ‘tatu’ or ‘shikuza’. So I go, “hush li’l tatu/ shizuka please go to bed…”
“Arko,” she nudges at my chest. Its “On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed,” I have to wait for my li’l one to actually sneeze, Achooo. Then she giggles in the dark. I complete that with the meatballs growing on the trees. Some children songs can be really silly, I tell you.
“Row, row row your boat…” Both of them wait for the new addition part at the end. “If you see an alligator, don’t forget to scream.” Both of them join me with a shrill “a..aa…aaa” and the three of us giggle like three teenagers. So much for an aged mother and two tiny girls trying to lull themselves to sleep.
“Doctor Foster went to Gloster in a shower of rain,” I sing. Before I can end that line, my elder daughter adds, ‘splash!splash! splash!’ There is another bout of giggling in the dark.
More rain songs motivate me and the next in line is, “It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring. Went to bed and bumped his head and couldn’t get up in the morning.” “Mama, why does he bump his head?” my lil one asks with concern in her voice. I drag her closer to my bosom and kiss her lips and continue,’ rain rain go away, come again some other day…”
“The ennsy weensy spider went up the water spout…” I know sleep is still a faraway dream so I walk my fingers shaped like a spider on their arms and make it slide with,”..down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the eensy weensy spider went up the spout again.” Again my fingers travel up their arms while they wriggle in glee.
“Oh when the saints go marching in…” My li’l one loves the second line better so I quickly finish off the first line and jump to, ”oh when the band begins to play….”
“arko,arko,arko,” she pouts like a spoilt brat. I pretend to be fast asleep ‘cause all these singing makes me drowsy. “owww mama,” both of them nags at the same time, pulling my arms from each side and tickling me. Well, what option do you have when you are outnumbered?
“Jack and Jill went up the hill… and don’t you dare ask me why jack fell down,” I warn my li’l one before she can open her mouth to ask me the same. Mothers need to have patience like the most elastic rubber, for the kids can stretch you off limits at times.
“Sing that song about the bird taking the nose,” it’s more of an order than a request. I start grudgingly, “sing a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye…” I almost look at them with angry glare for making me a singer for so long into the night. Sometimes I wonder, “What would somebody listening outside our window think of all these crazy singings?” Not that anybody would be there outside the window, listening, but suppose there is somebody listening?
“Wee willie winke, runs through the town,” is next. The song should end with,” …are the children all in bed its past 11 O’ clock, instead of 8 O’ clock.” I look at the wall clock ticking with a vengeance against the wrong timing I’m singing about.
Knowing they simply adore my singing (that’s a lie!) I clutch one tightly in my arms and pull the other with my other hand and sing the last song,” Hush a bye baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows…” I add if you don’t sleep you are gonna fall off the bed just like this baby. That silences them. I repeat the refrain,”…and down will come baby, cradle and all.” Softly, softly , repeating it in whispers until Their eyes close. I see them closing their eyes like a magic with this refrain. I am left with my eyes wide open watching the two princesses already lost in the dream world while I lay awake feeling a faint flicker of admiration at my own mirror images lying on the either sides.
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