Your first steps Ninda!

Dear Ninda,

Today you seem more than eager to use your little feet to get from one end of the room to the other. It’s been a while since you started standing up tall, trying to prove your stand. But, today of all, you have proved that you can go few more steps than you dared until now.
Let me tell you, you are a careful daredevil. At fifteen months, you are more daring than your sisters were at your age. You don’t shy away from riding your bike, pushing it with your tiny hands, trying to propel it forwards.

Your taking the steps today brings me the joy of seeing you step into the world, taking those baby steps into the journey of life. We laugh and we giggle. That drives you to take more steps. You know that we are enjoying what we are seeing.

However, Seated close by, waiting to hold you if you ever fall I feel a sudden sadness creep in. Here, right now, in this room, I am there, all alert! Waiting to hold you if you ever falter. But then these little steps will grow and then when you venture into the big big world, will you have me by your side, waiting to cushion your fall?

How I wish I could be there, watching your every step and be there right beside you to hold you if you ever fall down. Much as I feel this I dread the feeling that in our lives there will come a day when you’ll find my presence beside you more of a nuisance than a comfort. Oh! How it will shatter my heart!

Your movement forward reminds me that these small steps will eventually become the journey into the world, away from this heart, which loves you more than anybody ever will. I wonder if you will ever hear the beats of love from a wilting heart then.
I wonder if the new note of love should overshadows my withered heart, how shall I ever survive that truth?

I know I am being obnoxious now. Let me cast away these fears of the unknown and the unreached and rejoice in what we have for the moment.

Let me laugh with your laughter trickling down in my heart resonating my love for you my son!

With love,
Mama