Keeping trouble away.

I live deep in the caves of guilt and craving. I know I am just like any normal homo sapien and craving for things is one of the things God created me for, but this fallacy leads me to the ever lasting guilt of wanting what I can never attain. My cravings and my guilt at constant tug of war, it has made a huge mess of my life making me wish for a safe way out-death!
But today, my nerves just plainly going bonkers, I told myself to take a backseat in this journey of life and reflect clearly on why I feel the way I do. Voila! after many arguments with my heart I came to understand that God had cheated while creating my heart. He had created it with defunct materials that were purely meant to be discarded. So you see, my heart functions in an abnormal way, wanting something when it has to shown the door and throwing something out when it is to be accepted. God! I hate my heart now that I realize  its function well.
So, I cornered my senile heart with deadly vengence in my mind. I flew into rage and asked it why it never functioned the way it should have. I broke down before it could explain and make me understand its malfunctioning world. I stopped abruptly. Hell! What was I doing? Then I knew the answer. I had snuggled deep with self-pity that I forgot that there is a world beyond wanting to make everything spic n span in one's life.
Ah! so that's the culprit! I waded deep in the whirlpool of self acclaimed tearful situations making me wish for some heart to replace mine to take care of my ailing world. No! I retorted, I am not fighting anymore with my life. I've decided not to allow this  feeling to overshadow my real world. All troubles at bay!

When you are gone………………

The sun shines with usual brightness

Spreading its warmth in every cold nook,

Yet it warms not my heart

When you are gone.

The calm river flows in serenely

Wind plays its game, creates beautiful ripples

But its beauty fails to appeal my eyes

When you are gone.

The passing wind sings songs of mirth

Whilst the leaves dance to its rhythm

Still the music soothes not my ears

When you are gone.

The things of beauty, those of joys

Makes me fonder naught;

Everything is embedded in strange emptiness

When you are gone.

COLD FEELINGS

Love, thy love has frozen

The cold world and thy cold feelings

Freezes my feelings too-

My heart wails in deep agony

Death eludes me yet!

Melancholy shall strike harder

Totally over my heart, dead

People will call me a corpse,

A loser! That’s what I am

My love failed to conquer thy heart

Perhaps somebody else dwells there;

Losing isn’t my weakness,

It’s my fate, and nothing I can do against it.