I live deep in the caves of guilt and craving. I know I am just like any normal homo sapien and craving for things is one of the things God created me for, but this fallacy leads me to the ever lasting guilt of wanting what I can never attain. My cravings and my guilt at constant tug of war, it has made a huge mess of my life making me wish for a safe way out-death!
But today, my nerves just plainly going bonkers, I told myself to take a backseat in this journey of life and reflect clearly on why I feel the way I do. Voila! after many arguments with my heart I came to understand that God had cheated while creating my heart. He had created it with defunct materials that were purely meant to be discarded. So you see, my heart functions in an abnormal way, wanting something when it has to shown the door and throwing something out when it is to be accepted. God! I hate my heart now that I realize its function well.
So, I cornered my senile heart with deadly vengence in my mind. I flew into rage and asked it why it never functioned the way it should have. I broke down before it could explain and make me understand its malfunctioning world. I stopped abruptly. Hell! What was I doing? Then I knew the answer. I had snuggled deep with self-pity that I forgot that there is a world beyond wanting to make everything spic n span in one's life.
Ah! so that's the culprit! I waded deep in the whirlpool of self acclaimed tearful situations making me wish for some heart to replace mine to take care of my ailing world. No! I retorted, I am not fighting anymore with my life. I've decided not to allow this feeling to overshadow my real world. All troubles at bay!
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