Change!

Being all alone in this strange land has changed me and the way I function. Being born and raised in a family where we had my dad's younger siblings hovering like bees all over, we were one BIG noisy family but a beautiful family all the same. I never knew what it feels like to live in a silent atmosphere and never learned what it would be like to sleep all alone.
But after reaching this most noisy and populated place, for the first time in my life, my life is teaching me lessons of loneliness and silence. I've nobody to talk to for I live all alone ( with the exceptions of people I skype with from back home,lol). But other than that I've literally nobody to talk to, nobody to share my feelings for the day, my fears, my likes, my dislikes.
Life has become a ritual now. Getting up in the morning to catch up the train so as not to miss reaching the place I've to be in time. One thing my profession back home has taught me is punctuality, I dread being late! With the train rumbling and  noise of people scurrying in and out, I feel a deep silence inside me. They are a huge crowd, but not somebody who I can talk to and fill in the silence. I eye the couples holding hands, lost in the beautiful world of love and I miss the person I love too; I see tiny toddlers being moved around in their strollers and I miss my own li'l darlings whom I've left behind at home. Arrgh! I begin to hate myself but I control my ill feelings, that's not how one starts one's day.
But of late, I find myself in perfect sync with this ritualistic life. A meek gecko like me who never budged an inch with a companion has now learnt to commute daily all alone in this strange place. I laugh at my fears back in my own homeland, there I should have known no fears but in this strange land of dangerous crimes happening everyday, I walk feeling completely safe.This is the first change I've noticed in me.
Sleeping alone was never an option I had, nor ever wished for. Maybe it was the fact that I had lots of people back home to share my room with, the monsters from my monster's world could never sneak up on me but their thoughts would make me shudder. Now, here I'm sleeping all alone with all those monsters castaway far from my world.
These are two things I noticed as BIG changes in me, I won't go for the minute details of small changes. But today as I sat reflecting on the changes life has made in me I began to wonder, when I turn my steps back home-will I see changes there too? Having spent much of my time talking about Giver and Jonas, I started to wonder... would Jonas have reached that elsewhere and done something dramatic? Would the old Giver have  his youth back?Would Gabe grown up big and healthy? Why am I talking textbook when I can talk about my own home and family but those are obvious, I mean I know for sure my elder daughter would speak to me in full English sentences; I know her world would have expanded beyond the ABCs I left her with. I know for sure that My younger daughter would talk to me and call me 'Mama!' on my face ( wow! can't wait for that moment!).
There are many changes I've to undergo and many changes I've yet to witness as I turn my step back home, but before all that I really wish I could take that journey back home sooooooooooooooooon!