Raising a Son

He came in our world on 31st March, 2013- my son! Friends who heard about his birth congratulated me and remarked,” Now your family is complete!” To them, I want to knock and ask,” Hello! What is your definition of complete?”

I cannot deny the fact that two years earlier, I never thought that my family was incomplete. But this definitely doesn’t mean that the birth of my son was no joyous moment.

My husband grinned the most upon learning that we had a son. “Phew! After eight years of being bullied around by three women, I badly needed a male partner!” he boomed with happiness (only time will tell whose side he is gonna be on ;) )

But there are reasons that called for celebratory reunions:
1. Three grand daughters later, he is the first grandson on my husband’s side. Well, another granddaughter has been added after him. So! Yippeee he is the star grandchild!
2. I don’t need to fret and fume about going to school. Which woman wouldn’t want to stay back home and giggle and bask in the glory of one’s home?
3. Finally, blues have come up in otherwise pink and purple clothes and things ( a welcome break!)

Now coming to the main debate: is raising a son different from raising a daughter?

Asking me? The answer is a big YES!!!

How? Here’s how?:
1. Physically you have to be wriggling around like a fish. A son is more physically active than daughters. Any guests coming in our house exclaims,” oh my! Even a fish doesn’t move around like your son does.” So you can imagine how much running around I’ve to do. Excuse me! Did you just ask me about my weight? Ahem! That’s owing to all the food I get to ingest only because I’ve the luxury to be home. ;)
2. Ever thought being caught in a traffic jam is the worst thing? Try a son! All the rooms in the house is blocked by countless numbers of bikes, monster trucks and cars. The whirring wheels of the Monster Trucks, the uninterrupted songs form the bikes, the screeching sounds of the racing cars…Real traffic is nothing, trust me!
3. Bye bye nap times. A son naps for shorter periods, keeping you on your toes all the time.
4. Boys are born with the need to climb and poke and break stuff. They’ll climb on the windows, on the TV stand, on dressers, well suffice it to say, everywhere. So, you need to be alert at all times.
5. There is more stomping and screaming in the house. The boy stomping all around and the girls screaming from these disturbances.

IT is different but beautiful all the same. A son or a daughter doesn’t matter, so long as you have kids at home, it lends a different mood to the house. Enjoy their childhood while you can ‘cause they grow up so fast!!!

P.S This is definitely my personal experience and not to be taken for serious research on the topic ;) :)

papa! We miss you.

The sun is an orange fireball
Castaway in the distant horizon.
"Sun" I point
To my son saddled on my shoulder.

"Papa?" He replies.

Eyes downcast, I walk
Fresh gravels grovel long under my feet.
"Stones" I pick it up
To my son saddled on my shoulder.

"Papa?" He asks again.

Tall arecanut trees stands
Stretching out their head to the sky.
"Doma" I show
To my son saddled on my shoulder.

"Papa?" He utters sadly.

Twittering birds hover in the sky
Dark specks flying back home.
"Birds" I yell out
To my son saddled on my shoulder.

"Papa?" He snivels.

A twitch in my heart
I yearn for his presence.
"Come" I bring him on my lap
My son who was saddled on my shoulder.

We sit, facing the Orange ball
Counting the small pebbles
Looking through the arecanut trees
With the birds flying back home.

"Papa!"we both utter together
Missing him the same.

(Written while vacationing in gelephu with my kids, while their papa toiled hard in the cold harsh winter of Thimphu. Our son Ninda loves him a lot!)

A dormant me waking up.

Well, due apologies to people who blared the wake up alarm to this dormant blogger( I wouldn't call myself that, seriously!)

But, Passu, just to let you know that my reverence to your existence and your persistence is real, I thought it was time to pen down something.

Well, you've asked me," is motherhood so bad that you had to delete your blog??"

My reaction to that," oh my god! How did you even think like that???" (I m smiling, so boss, it simply means I m just exaggerating this reaction ;-). )

But tell you what, this past one year has been more than a frenzied heights of craziness. Otherwise, what in the world would have made me leave the job I loved the most?

My friends yell at me," oh! You are so lucky, you get to stay at home and relax!"

Hello! When you live in a place like Thimphu with three kids, two of whom goes to private schools , your hole in the pocket can't be sealed by staying at home.

Financial holes, let's not discuss it!

But emotionally too, the year was packed with so much of statics. There were times, I cried like a worthless buffoon. There were times I cursed my existence. There were times I compared myself with my friends and felt hopelessly unlucky.

The most difficult time would be, when people would ask me," where do you work?" Shamelessly, I would reply," I m a teacher!" The next question would follow," which school?" Putting a huge boulder of strength on my heart, corking the ready made tears, I would reply," I WAS a teacher, now I stay at home."

Yet! Each time I sat, nursing my sick kids, I would cry out aloud," boy! Am I glad I am home! How else could I've lived this phase? Which organization would grant me the luxury of leave?"

Every time, I noticed my helper leave the dishes not properly cleaned and cooked food not palatable for my kids, I felt good that I had chosen to stay at home and cooked meals for my family myself.

Seeing that my house was personally cleaned made me triumph over the fact that I m indeed building a true home for my family, in this rented flat.

So, now I no longer grieve over financial issues or not having a proud "work place tag" to show off to people. I flaunt the fact that I stay at home to take the reins of my family's daily affairs.

Jobs will come, let me get my sonny boy big enough for kindergarten first! :) :) :)