A dormant me waking up.

Well, due apologies to people who blared the wake up alarm to this dormant blogger( I wouldn't call myself that, seriously!)

But, Passu, just to let you know that my reverence to your existence and your persistence is real, I thought it was time to pen down something.

Well, you've asked me," is motherhood so bad that you had to delete your blog??"

My reaction to that," oh my god! How did you even think like that???" (I m smiling, so boss, it simply means I m just exaggerating this reaction ;-). )

But tell you what, this past one year has been more than a frenzied heights of craziness. Otherwise, what in the world would have made me leave the job I loved the most?

My friends yell at me," oh! You are so lucky, you get to stay at home and relax!"

Hello! When you live in a place like Thimphu with three kids, two of whom goes to private schools , your hole in the pocket can't be sealed by staying at home.

Financial holes, let's not discuss it!

But emotionally too, the year was packed with so much of statics. There were times, I cried like a worthless buffoon. There were times I cursed my existence. There were times I compared myself with my friends and felt hopelessly unlucky.

The most difficult time would be, when people would ask me," where do you work?" Shamelessly, I would reply," I m a teacher!" The next question would follow," which school?" Putting a huge boulder of strength on my heart, corking the ready made tears, I would reply," I WAS a teacher, now I stay at home."

Yet! Each time I sat, nursing my sick kids, I would cry out aloud," boy! Am I glad I am home! How else could I've lived this phase? Which organization would grant me the luxury of leave?"

Every time, I noticed my helper leave the dishes not properly cleaned and cooked food not palatable for my kids, I felt good that I had chosen to stay at home and cooked meals for my family myself.

Seeing that my house was personally cleaned made me triumph over the fact that I m indeed building a true home for my family, in this rented flat.

So, now I no longer grieve over financial issues or not having a proud "work place tag" to show off to people. I flaunt the fact that I stay at home to take the reins of my family's daily affairs.

Jobs will come, let me get my sonny boy big enough for kindergarten first! :) :) :)