Rape! Who is to be blamed?

Early in the morning, Facebook serves as my alarm clock. I scroll through my Facebook page to truly wake up my opened eyes.

Indeed this habit does bring in wakeful moments for my soul. I read about things happening in and around and the first thing I do is a quick click click click on the like buttons.

But there are moments like this morning when time halts and I start to ponder. Normally I don't think much beyond my kids and the books I'm reading. But, there are some moments when the dumbo in me stirs with a vengeance and I begin to think seriously.

This morning, I saw a post by a journalist about a rape victim in the Thai pavilion area. I had heard about the incident in BBS last night. I shook my head and empathized with the journalist for the call she was making.

I scrolled further down to read the many comments that had poured in. While some agreed with the post, there were many who condemned the rape victim instead of the accused. And a cold discomfort ran down my spine. People had started questioning the victim because she was supposedly a married girl ( I intentionally call her a girl cos she is only 19).
"Why was she not with her husband?" And so many other questions in that line have been raised. These questions irked me to the bone. A girl has been abused in such ugly manner and the question that arises is "why was a married woman out at that hour (10:30 pm)?

I remembered few politicians in our neighboring country who were found blaming the girls for such horrendous incidences. Another laughable report was about a police officer, who came out with a list of "what not to do" for the girls and women in the society to prevent such cases. And very little has been questioned about the men who are the bigger prey that needs attention.

Now, the same opinions are reflected by our very own Bhutanese folk too. It is such a shame.

Instead of questioning why the victim was with that man, at that hour, she should have been with her husband and other details, can't we question the brutal acts of those men? why can't people see what the girl has been through, the physical pain will be passed out as she was intoxicated by some but what of the humiliation? What of her emotional pain? Should her pains be superseded by the fact that she was a married woman out with another man?

Babies, barely one year old, have been raped. Angays, as old as seventy plus have been raped. Daughters have been raped by fathers and step fathers. Little girls have been raped by neighbors. Teenagers have been raped by their lovers. Unknown strangers rape the innocent village girls. Rape is a crime very much happening right under our noses. What are we waiting for? And why is it always the womenfolk who are under the radar whenever such incidences are reported? Why do we need to question what the girl was wearing?

Why can't we have laws that will provide a safe zone for our girls without putting curfew on the girls or questioning what they should wear. If the perpetrators receive dreadful punishment, I think that should take care of the issue itself. The predator should be the one in the clutches of the law, questioned and grilled not the innocent victims who are grilled and robbed, firstly by the heinous act of rape and later by the people questioning her integrity. Every time a rape victim is questioned of her integrity, I feel its like double rape.

But this is just a single opinion of a mother who fears for her growing up daughters.